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Veronica burst through the front door and ran to the dining room table. This was her showroom.
This was the place she opened all of her treasures.
Today had been a very good day of treasure hunting.
She set the bag on the table and took a seat, giddy with anticipation, flushed with the feeling of a job
well done.
Veronica lived for shopping. The thrill of the hunt, the discovery of an unexpected treasure, the
breathless excitement of a surprise sale, nothing did it for her like shopping. Besides, shopping was
great exercise. And the very act of spending money had to be good for the spirit.
Her husband didn’t understand. But then she didn’t understand men, so they were even. She’d
stopped asking him to go with her months ago. He’d stand around, holding her purse, leaning on
racks and counters. He’d yawn and wonder aloud about how much longer it was going to take. He
was worse than the kids on a long road trip.
Most of her girlfriends couldn’t keep up either. She’d long since weeded out the posers and
wannabes and narrowed it down to a small group of gifted shoppers. Women that could hold their
own and keep up with her. They’d formed a little group, called themselves the “Ladies Only
Saturday Shopping and Lunch Club.” They met biweekly and had been going strong for the last six
months. One of the girls was even thinking about starting a web site.
Maggie was the big ticket girl. She’d drop several thousand without blinking on a single item. She
could afford it. Her husband was a sterile plastic surgeon. So she was rich and had no kids. Not to
mention perfectly lifted breasts and no crows feet.
Carla was the hawk-eye of the group. No one could spot a nugget like her. She was approaching
legendary status and had yet to pay for lunch. The deal was, whoever found the biggest bargain
didn’t have to pay. Sometimes this was hard to prove in a real dollars and cents way but the
consensus of the club members was always unanimous. Carla consistently found the bargains, and
always ate for free.
Darlene was the blocker. She was especially helpful in flea markets, swap meets or any other time
there was a rush to a sale item. She had broader shoulders and stronger arms than Veronica’s
husband. Many an aggressive shopper had fallen victim to Darlene’s vicious elbows.
And then there was Allison. Allison was the newest member of the club. Of a normal work day,
Allison would appear as the least likely person to be a member of their group. She was mousy and
timid. She dressed in conservative clothing, attended church, and was an active member of her local
PTA.
But every other Saturday, Allison turned into a crazed animal.
It was as if she bottled up all her weekly frustration, tears, anger, and disappointment and let them
explode out of her while they shopped. All of the girls had to struggle to keep up with Allison. On
two occasions, Darlene had to pull her off of someone who had taken a hold of a special item that
Allison had been hunting for.
Allison didn’t look the part, but she was the group leader and hero.
As much fun as the girls were, this was Veronica’s favorite time. Her husband had once called it her
post game celebration. Veronica didn’t much care for sports but she liked the analogy and had
adopted it as her own.
The post game. When the procured treasures would first see their new home. The purchased items
had been pulled from their racks and cases and stuffed into boxes. She knew it was silly but she
imagined the items wondering where their new home would be. Would it be a good home? Would
they be treated well?
Stupid, yes. But still a ton of fun.
Veronica lifted the box out of the shopping bag. She set it on the table in front of her. Today had
been special. If her husband just understood the thrill of a bargain she could share this one with
him. But he wouldn’t get it. So she reveled in the victory with her girlfriends and enjoyed the fruits
of her day here in the post game.
Her stomach flipped with excitement as she grasped the lid. She felt an uncontrollable smile spread
across her face as she slowly opened the box, drawing out the moment.
The Smith and Wesson Model 500 Revolver gleamed under the dining room chandelier lights.
Veronica gasped at its sublime beauty. The most powerful revolver in the world. It would totally
kick the crap out of Carla's lame Smith and Wesson Sigma 40.
Thank God she'd seen it first. The 500 had more stopping power than anything else out there. She
lifted it out of the box and held it lovingly in her hands. The weight and balance was exquisite. And
best of all, this wasn't the eight and three-quarter inch muzzle that came standard. Oh no, sister.
Veronica had happened upon a real gem. This was the Performance Center Model. A barrel length
of ten and a half inches!
She slid her finger along the cool metal and laughed as she remembered what Darlene had said when
she saw it. Why should a woman settle for eight and three quarter inches when she could have ten
and a half!
She was sure right about that.
Veronica didn't get the best bargain of the day but definitely had the best find.
Maggie had picked up a silencer for her MAC 10 machine pistol. It was illegal to own a fully
automatic weapon, so they had to go to one of the "special" shops down by the wharf to get that
little item.
While they were there, Darlene saw an adorable little XM214 minigun that she just couldn't live
without. The price was way out of her range but since Miss Moneybags Maggie wasn't buying big
today she decided to pitch in and help Darlene out. That was Maggie's way. Last Christmas she'd
bought them all Chinese AK47s. Her husband gave her hell for that one but she argued that she was
well within the bounds of her holiday season shopping allowance and he eventually got over it.
The XM214 came with the cutest little backpack that held 1,000 rounds of ammo. They didn't have
a great selection of colors to choose from so Darlene went with the basic black. Maggie even sprung
for the mounting tripod.
What were girlfriends for, anyway?
Then they had to spend all of lunch listening to Darlene go on and on about how the XM214 fired
the same ammo as the M16 and if she doubled her workouts she'd be able to fire the thing standing
up without the tripod for a good minute or so.
As if they didn't all know this already.
Allison won the biggest bargain contest. Carla's reign of free lunches was finally over. She found an
adorable Heckler and Koch Model 36 machine gun that the sales guy practically gave her. They all
joked with her at lunch, asking her what she had to do for the guy to get it that cheap. They figured
he must have had a thing for the straight-laced type.
Veronica stood up from the kitchen table and carried her new addition to the basement. She walked
to the back corner, next to the water heater and washing machine. She opened the deadbolt on a
small room her husband had built to house her treasures.
She stepped into her hobby room and pulled the chain on the overhead light. The walls filled with
deadly beautiful steal illuminated before her. She lifted her new addition and set it in the display case
right between her Glock 17, 9mm Luger semi-automatic and her simply gorgeous Browning High-
Power semi-automatic. She stepped back and smiled with pride. It looked just stunning displayed
next to the "king of nines."
She frowned for a moment. Something wasn't right. It was the Walther P99. It clashed with the
Magnum and the Desert Eagle. She put her hands on her hips and checked her watch. It would be
time to start dinner soon. Oh well, she thought, looks like it'll be a pizza night. She simply wouldn't
be able to sleep until she had all this reorganized.
The Ladies Only Saturday Shopping and Lunch Club